Often our dreams are not realised. Our best and most thought-out plans can collapse. Sometimes our greatest friends can disappoint us. Our expectations in people can leave us humbled and humiliated. The people who we supported during their tough times can forget to check in on us when we are under pressure. We feel used. Our successes in life sometimes seem never properly affirmed. A sense of aloneness can set in during our failures. It almost seems as if life is working against us. We can feel detatched and lonely.
In such moments we need to exercise some self-compassion. We need to remind ourselves that this journey poses challenges for us all. Our vulnerability is something that we share with all of humanity. Disappointments, failures and imperfection are part of life experience. While we may sense a loss of control at times, we constantly underestimate our ability to cope. Everyone experiences dark moments. Feelings like anxiety, anger and hurt are commonly shared feelings or response to life events which all of us experience. None of us are made of stone.
We need to acknowledge these feelings not repress them. I have listened to many stories and remind people that they are entitled to their sense of loss, anger or hurt. These emotions are the essence of their humanity. They need expression. They need a voice. However, we need to love and mind ourselves during these times. It is crucial that we do not become engulfed by our crises. It is important to be our own best coach not worst enemy during these critical periods of our lives. We are entitled to hold on to our health. We are stronger than we think.
When we experience challenges, we need to seek out what we have in common with our fellow beings – an inner strength. We may be acutely aware of our weaknesses but we are all blessed with strengths too. And when we look back on past crises with a neutral and objective eye, we need to acknowledge that we did many of the right things then. We can build on our strengths and work at becoming stronger.
Often through our life experiences we learn to be very hard on ourselves, others and the world. We can become overly critical, too judgemental and non-forgiving. Approaching life like this exhausts and frustrates. We need to let go of the person that we think we are meant to be and embrace the wonderful person that we are – a unique being with the potential to live a truly meaningful and fulfilling life despite the inevitable challenges that are part of the journey. Exercising some self-compassion can set us free.
A special seminar on the important area of self-compassion take place on August 17th 2013 Regency Hotel, Drumcondra, Dublin 9. Open to everyone this seminas should prove to be enlightening and beneficial. You can book a place by simply emailing your name and address to firstname.lastname@example.org or phoning 086-7921804 as soon as possible.
August 17th 2013 Regency Hotel, Drumcondra, Dublin 9
To be facilitated by Shane Martin